dear aphrodite,

today, someone called me beautiful.

for once, though, it wasn't you or some random guy or a friend or a mother or a sister or a brother. it was, for the first time in my life, my voice echoing such strange syllables. i honestly didn't expect to ever say such strange words, to utter those simple letters.

do you remember, back when we first met, how i couldn't even look you in the eye, i didn't dare let my gaze ever stray to your perfect lemonade-blue face? it makes me feel silly, weak, to think about, but thinking of changes and changing and now strike up much more fear in my fluttering, wavering yellow heart.

i wish you'd been there the moment i finally saw what you'd seen in my cheekbones from the second your fingertips swept over me like rice. i wish i could've seen the light that, i know, would've blown up in your eyes and leaked all down your cheeks and all in your mouth. i wish that i was able to see happiness splattered all over your skeleton-bone toenails.

i wish you had been able to turn to sky to twittering diamonds and sparkling bluebirds.

even though you didn't, couldn't, it's still okay. after all, the point is not the prize nestled deeply in your eyes. rather, the prize is the knowledge that you, of all people, was finally able to rip me open and grant me the delirious power of sight, even through the fog of this world, so black and full of tar that i can see it choke you while you sleep.

maybe tomorrow we can paint sunflowers in the streets.

love,
mavourneen